I have had lots of questions about how we became pregnant with baby #3. A lot of you may know that I have Graves disease. It is a thyroid/autoimmune disease If you wanna read more about the symptoms and my diagnosis you can read more about it in My Story. I had to have my thyroid removed 2 years ago. Though this is all treatable it can have long term effects. Thyroid diseases in general are known to cause infertility. So here is how baby number 3 happened for us.
So not many people outside our close friends and family know that we experienced a loss of a pregnancy September 2015. I couldn’t/didn’t want to talk about it for months. Now I feel like I can talk (or blog) about it without falling apart. Here is a link to the post I wrote all about our story of loss called Heartbreak.
So I feel like I need to start off by saying I’m a sharer so I go into pretty personal detail. but nothing gross I swear.
After my miscarriage in September I didn’t want to try for another baby for a while for a few reasons. I needed time to heal emotionally from the loss. Also I didn’t feel ready to have a third child. However in December I had a prompting that we should try again. So I got on all my lady cycle tracking apps to figure out when I was ovulating then two weeks later. boom not pregnant! Honestly I was very surprised. We have never had to “try” to get pregnant. All three of my previous pregnancies had been happy surprises. So in January I took to the internet and read every article about trying to get pregnant that I could find! I also read up on Graves Disease and fertility so I ordered some cheap ovulation tests online and took them religiously and sadly they never turned positive at all during my whole cycle!
I am way too impatient for this stuff and I was starting to panic that it might take us months or years to become pregnant again and wondered if my body was even capable of carrying a baby anymore (thanks Graves Disease!!!) Kate was already almost 3 and I wanted all my kids to be pretty close in age. So I went and paid my OBGYN a visit. Told him my situation and how I thought I might not be ovulating he is seriously the man! Some docs make you try for several months before they step in with fertility drugs but with my given history and the fact that my cycles were 35 days long he was concerned. He was so incredibly understanding and listened to my fears and thought it would be a good idea to start me on clomid and see if that would work for me. So with my next cycle I started on 50 ml of clomid. I went back to my doc on day 21 for a progesterone test none of my home ovulation tests had been positive but I was still holding onto hope to see if it worked and if I had ovulated. The next day the results came back so the nurse called me and told me that anything above a 10 was a good ovulation. She said my numbers were low and I was 1.8. Yep 1 point freaking 8! that’s not even a 2! The nurse ordered my a prescription for the next dose up 100ml of clomid to start on the next cycle. I got off the phone and I was at lunch with a friend of mine. She could tell I was upset, she asked what was wrong and I fell apart right there at the Mcdonalds play place while our kids were playing. I thought if clomid couldnt make me ovulate maybe another baby just wasn’t in the cards! Later that affternoon I went to the pharmacy to pick up my new prescription I was basically sobbing and being so upset with my broken body that wasnt working the way it should. Kate was in the back seat. She said “Mommy, you sad?” I said “Yeah baby I’m really sad.” Kate is a girl of few words and was a really late talker and still didnt speak very well but she said “You the best mom ever.” hearing that made me cry even more. It amazes me how my kids say these type things at the exact right moment and it cheered me up so much!
So on to March and 100ml of clomid and way more night sweats and hot flashes and stiff joints than the first time around. I threw away my cheap ovulation tests and sprung for the much more expensive digital ovulation tests. after lots of “-No” days that felt like a punch in the gut! Then on day 17 I finally got a “+Yes” basically it was like christmas! I went in on day 21 for another progesterone test I was so excited to tell my doc about my big fat positive he was so excited for me and he said he had a feeling I was already pregnant. After he felt ALL my lady parts to make sure I didnt have ovarian cysts I got my blood work done. The next day the nurse called me again and reminded me that anything over 10 was considered a good ovulation and said my numbers improved and I was at an 18 this month!! 18! Yay!! then two weeks later I took a digital home pregnancy test (cause I vowed to be done with the cheap line tests that left me wondering if it were actually positive or negative) After 3 mins that felt like forever I saw PREGNANT pop up in that glorious little window!
Although I dont know if my story is common among other women with Graves or women who are post thyroidectomy this is how it worked for us. I am really glad that I was impatient cause it would have taken me months to figure out that I wasnt ovulating on my own. I hate wasting time so my main advice for other women if be impatient and ask your doctor or midwife or whoever for help. My heart breaks for all my loved ones and everyone who battles with long term infertility. I’m so so grateful we were able to figure out my fertility issues and solve them as quickly as we did. I cannot tell you enough how much I adore my doctor he isnt a fertility specialist he is a great listener and doesnt make you feel silly for asking questions or having concerns. I have never had a doctor who made me feel heard and cared about so if you are in the same boat and are in Utah I will be happy to pass his info along!
Our family is so excited to be getting another baby sister in December! The little girls are more excited about her than they are for Christmas hahah
When we found out that a third baby would be joining our family we were surprised but over the moon! I was worried about how my pregnancy would be because during my last pregnancy I was diagnosed with Graves disease it was high risk and Kate ended up being a preemie it was a mess! You can read more about that in My Story.
I had my second check up at 9 weeks I had an ultrasound. The tech was quiet as she scanned me checking every little thing. She stopped the scan and turned off the screen and said ” Oh honey, I don’t have good news for you.” before she could say anything else I interrupted her and said “There is no heartbeat.” I never saw the little flicker of a heartbeat on the screen. I’m not sure why but I wasn’t very surprised but I was completely crushed and all by myself at my appointment. I was trying not to sob too embarassingly loud as a nurse escorted me across the clinic to an exam room to see the doctor. Every person I passed in the hallway couldn’t help but stare I think it was pretty obvious what I had just found out. I called my husband to tell him the news he had come home from work to watch the girls while I was at the doctor.He was anxious for me to hurry home so he could get back to work he answered the phone and heard my crying voice tell him there was no heartbeat. We were both heartbroken and helpless.
My doctor came in and was perfectly sweet and understanding. He said that my body wasn’t recognizing that I had miscarried and I would probably need a D&C. I came home and broke the news to Joslyn my 4 year old who was so excited to have a new baby in our house. She asked me why I was crying and I told her our baby went back to heaven. She melted into a puddle of tears. That was the worst part of all of it. She wanted answers and I didn’t have any.
Carrying around a baby that was no longer alive was almost more than I could take.I had my D&C 2 days later. After it was all over I felt much better about all of it and had some closure, or so I thought. I couldn’t talk about it. The weekend before we found out we lost the baby we had just told both of our families we were expecting and having to untell them was awful. Shortly after I saw lots of girls I know announcing that There were expecting and due in April I was really surprised at how much it hurt me to see those posts. I was happy for them but sad for us.
In the months since I think about how far along I would be, what the sex of the baby was, if it was my body/disease that caused the miscarriage? It drove me crazy and I was surprised how much it has effected me. As time went by it just slipped into being part of the past and I was finally ok. I could think about it and talk about it with out falling to pieces. As awful as it was I came to terms with things like this happen to lots of people. I still had lots of hope we would get pregnant again and our family could finally heal.
Joslyn out of the blue one day while driving in the car said to me. “Mom, I think someday Jesus will send our baby back.” I found great comfort in her innocent little idea. Then in April the month I was due. I found out we were getting another chance at bringing a new baby in our family! We are so excited!
I have posted about our whole journey of how we became pregnant again with my Graves disease you can read that here.
I get so excited when I find non maternity dresses that will fit during pregnancy so I can still wear them again after the baby comes! This baby just might be our last so I’m having a hard time investing in tons on maternity clothing. So finds like this stretchy dress from Friday Faves make me stupid amounts of happy!! It’s under $30!! Around this time every year I get bad cravings for fall! Gimme all the booties and sweaters! This dress is breathable enough that I can layer it with a cardi for a date night with my guy and not sweat to death! I have all the heart eyes for this dress so I’m teaming up with Friday Faves to a GIVEAWAY for $50 store credit! It’s all going down on my instagram @christineyallen so jump over there to join in and follow if you aren’t already!
I snagged these Steve Madden booties at the Nordstrom sale. They are probably my favorite booties I’ve ever owned! I’m so sad they are sold out again! I’ll be watching them like a hawk and I’ll let you guys know when they are restocked cause they are seriously perfect!! Here are a few other similar options. Here, and Here these ones are in stock but full price.
Summer bumpin’ This dress from Seraphine Maternity is everything! So stretchy and comfy! Which is kind of number one on my list these days!! Plus its on sale for $57! TIP: I would size down if you want it to be a little more fitted the dress is a little roomy.
Guys I have a confession. I have always enjoyed my pregnancies! I legit love being pregnant! However this time around has been different! Being this pregnant in the summer has really taken a toll on my body image. I promise I know how dumb and vain that sounds. I am freaking making a person with my body which causes it to change and grow and is such a gift! I’m trying my hardest to feel confident parading my pregnant self around in a bathing suit has made me so self conscious! Being so body conscious that it controls basically every thought you have is not a fun feeling.
Since this is my 3rd go around I feel like my body has grown so much quicker than the first 2 times. This time my booty and love handles and cheeks also think they are pregnant. Idiots!
When I look at other pregnant women I think they are darling and they glow and look so cute! Why can’t I think those same things about myself? Whenever a family member or friend or my husband especially gives me a compliment and say they think I look cute I straight up don’t believe them! I feel like I can’t be the only preggo out there who feels this way.
SO I am making a little challenge for me to have more self love and be so so grateful that I get to be pregnant I know so many friends and family struggling with infertility and would love a bigger booty and love handles if that meant a baby would be coming soon after! From here on out I will love my body for all the miracles it is working every single day!
The female body seriously incredible! Becoming a mother is the biggest blessing in my life I would gladly sacrifice my body a thousand times over to get to hold a precious newborn. Great now I’m getting teary eyed and my girls are asleep so I have to go stare at them and ninja kiss their cute cheeks so I don’t wake them!
Also lets stop pretending that unicorn pregos like Blake Lively and Chrissy Teigen are the norm and what we are supposed to look like during pregnancy.
and praise the true hero that is Kim Kardashian whose feet even got pregnant! You go girl!!!
This summer has been so go go go! I am learning that just how life is going to be from now on with a growing family. Running to school, dance, doctor appointments, play dates, the list goes on and on!! I wouldn’t change it tho! These two are my best buddies. Even when they are driving me crazy! They are getting sassier by the day and heaven please help me when I have THREE TEENAGE DAUGHTERS!
Until then I’m soaking up every second with these sweet babes! Taking time to enjoy the little things, like shoving donuts in our faces and not caring that we are all sticky and getting our clothes dirty! I love my shirts from Sweet Ts design shoppe. Sharing a positive message and encouraging us to slow down and enjoy every tiny seemingly insignificant moment! Those are the ones that stand out in my mind with my own Mama!
Joslyn’s birthday almost always falls on or around fathers day. She told me a few months a go that she wanted a surprise party. This girl has been looking forward to and has been asking me questions about her birthday for the past 6 months. So we wanted to make it really special! We told her she wouldnt be able to have a birthday party on her actual b day cause it was fathers day weeekend and everyone was spending time with their dads and werent able to come. Guys it was so sad! It broke my heart a little to lie to her! So we made her birthday morning special by doing all her fav things. Todd took both the girls to Airborne (a trampoline park) for a few hours while I got the party all set in place. They walked in and they could only see me standing in the living room. When Joss got to the end of the hall all her friends and family were hiding in the kitchen we all yelled SURPRISE! it scared her to death and she was fighting tears for a second then she realized what was going on and she was thrilled!! Please notice how Kate is covering her ears in the top pic. They were so caught off guard!
showing her great grandparents some love. It kills me how she just loves absolutely everyone and makes everyone feel special! She truly has a gift!
After all the gifts and cake Todd and I set up a gender reveal box. We made a top secret trip to fetal fotos to sneakily find out the sex of our new baby. baby girl did not want to give up the goods! she was all cross legged and stubborn! Luckily we were able to get a quick peek! She had the hiccups it was the cutest thing!
Since all our loved ones would be at the party that weekend some came from out of state! That’s how much Jossie girl is loved! We have the best most supportive family! We couldn’t think of a better time to tell everyone! Only myself, Todd and my cute 11 year old niece Bailey she was staying with us that week being the best helper/nanny! She kept our secret like a BOSS!
Ok I’m feeling all the feels for this guy! Pregnancy makes me all sorts of sappy! Having a family with him is seriously the best thing that has ever happened to me! A billion times more amazing than my wildest dreams when I was growing up! He is the sweetest Dad of daughters we are so hashtag blessed that we get to have him! We arent the least bit disappointed to be getting another girl! Super stoked about it actually. Although lots of people have expressed sympathy for us which is so bizarre and drives me crazy. That’s a post for another day!